Celebrity advice

I can see that if you are constantly in the public eye - it might be easy for things to go astray in the fashion department.  Perhaps it's a case of no one daring to say 'The Emporer's got no Clothes!'.  Occasionally what might be required is a work of advice....

Dear Mr Johnny Depp,

Johnny Depp looking frankly odd

I saw you at the MTV Movie awards a little time ago - strumming on base guitar before accepting your 'popcorn' award.  May I put it to you, that the eyeliner, silly hat, bob hairstyle, teenage jewellery and tattoos just have to go - you can no longer carry this off at your age.

Your own children must be embarrassed.  The Keith Richards personae (of Pirates of the Caribbean franchise) seems to have gone to your head entirely; you are not an ageing rocker.  Nor do I particularly like your weird Tim Burton, two dimensional and frankly scary-to-small-children 'costume' characters that appear in family movies with alarming regularity.


Depp;s former, more handsome self

You were once a devastatingly handsome man who could rival Brad Pitt any day - and you could be again, but this will require a little effort on your part (especially if you are soon to be single once again!).  Reprise some crime drama roles.  At the moment, this is such a disappointment.

****

I am in very much in awe of Kate Middleton and all the work she's doing with her hectic diary of public events at the moment.  I'll be the first to admit that I'm always googling to see what she wore to an event - love it, love it - but I have to ask you, aren't we channelling 'Robin Hood' a little too heavily here?  Perhaps it's the fact that she is in Nottingham (and throwing a 'mock' spear) that made me think of it. 


Kate in Nottingham - channelling Robin Hood



Further Robin Hood hats at the Jubilee River Pageant



It's a shame to make a 30 year old wear so many hats!





And at the Service of Thanksgiving