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| Downton Abbey - series one |
I have been watching Downton Abbey with my husband - a very popular British period drama/tv series set just after the turn of the century, pre-first world war (1912 ish ), about a grand English country house. My sister gave me the box set of Series 1. Each episode is based on a story woven around the dynamic between 'upstairs' and 'downstairs' in a grand house, ie. the family and their army of staff, butlers, housemaids, cooks, footmen with sub plots involving strange house guests, inheritance issues, women's suffrage (okay, I've only watched a few episodes so far). I love the buccaneer American wife who brought money to the family and the corridor creeping antics.
Part of the charm of the series is the fact that you know that living like this in such grand style was tottering on the edge of a precipice at that time, the whole of British society was about to be knocked sideways by the first World War and would never be the same again - probably a good thing. But nonetheless Downton Abbey is all great escapism, especially for Sunday night viewing.
I love the costumes, the big house (filmed at Highclere Castle) - the fact that the camera allows you the viewer to roam all over it - up inside the the staff attics, across the gardens and into the lady of the house's bedroom. The series recalls an age of when the very rich spent days with nothing much to do - meanwhile everybody else worked their fingers to the bone to ensure that they could retain their elevated lifestyle.
Harold Nicolson, a biographer of King George, said about his king:
'He is all right as a gay young midshipman. he may be all right as a wise old king. But the intervening period when he was Duke of York is hard to swallow.... for 17 years he did nothing but kill animals and stick in stamps.'
Downton Abbey portrays a very sympathetic understanding between the Lord of the manor (Robert, Earl of Grantham) and his staff and tenants - whereby there is loyalty on both sides and they all look out for each other. While it makes for unchallenging, feel good viewing, I fear that this may be an idealist's view. I find it slightly hard to suspend my disbelief that the lord of the manor would be so nice, or that the whole family would interact with (talk to) their staff, on some occasions, almost as friends and equals - although of course this is how it should be - I'm not convinced that this was actually how it was in reality back then.
I'll probably be strung up for saying this but some themes resonate for expats living in Kenya. For instance, overseas visitors arrive and see you have full-time staff working in your home, then they often draw some entirely independent conclusions - such as; you don't have to lift a finger in your own house - you are waited on hand and foot - you live in a bubble, removed from reality. In fact the truth is far different.
Most expats, foreigners or white kenyans who live in Kenya have a close relationship with those people they employ, cleaners, cooks, security guards, gardeners, that is on a par with Robert, Earl of Grantham, Lord of Downton Abbey, especially when they have been living here for a long time. Quite honestly, (and you might think me deluded to say this) but if you haven't got that two way relationship going, then you probably should have. For instance, I wouldn't expect someone to take my plate to the kitchen for me. I make tea for my staff as much as they make tea for me and I would always give a tip for a job done well.
The Earl of Grantham is a great role model. He too was painfully aware of the pitfalls of society, the disparity of wealth and the conditions many people live with day-to-day. Today, you try to help employees and their families when they are in trouble due to the lack of a welfare system in Kenya, you appreciate one another for help provided (this runs both ways) and are sympathetic to one anothers' needs. Occasionally, when things go wrong, you feel that it would be easier to have no employees, (in the West you could have a hassle free cleaner for a few hours a week, where you leave cash in an envelope and hardly even have to learn their name) but you reaslise that refusing to employ people in Kenya is currently no solution and not a help to anyone. Though one day, there may come a time when this practise changes - God willing.
Robert, Earl of Grantham, makes the point in the Downton Abbey series succinctly.
When a young upstart arrives and wishes to dispense with the butler he has been allocated - because, as a modern, independent man, he feels he can do the job better himself - the Earl, Robert says something along the lines of (and I am para-phrasing here);
'Would you do a good man out of a job just because you perceive him to be superfluous? He's been doing that job all his life. How do you think that makes him feel? How do you imagine his family would manage if you dispense with his services?'
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| Actor Hugh Bonneville - Robert, Earl of Grantham |
P.s. Last Wednesday our power lines got re-routed!! Finally! The KPLC truck came while I was out on a school run and apparently did the job in an hour. Watch, as I fall down in a dead faint! It's only taken 8 months since our original application. Apparently we still have to make a complaint about the high price charged using their official complaints procedure. I was worried that if they did the job then I wouldn't have a leg to stand on re cost, but they assured me that this was not the case. I am sure it is all thanks to this blog that anything happened in the end! Thanks Kevin!


"Today, you try to help employees and their families when they are in trouble due to the lack of a welfare system in Kenya, you appreciate one another for help provided (this runs both ways) and are sympathetic to one anothers' needs."
ReplyDeleteFrom your blog, I get the impression that you try very hard to help your staff (and some of us, who enjoy reading your blog, have told you in the past that some of your staff appear to take you for a ride). And so, it intrigues me when you say that the help runs both ways. Obviously they work for you as your staff in return for the pay you agreed to (and the extra help they often get from you). Beyond that, I would love to know how they "help" you.
Thanks.
Our housestaff have shown endless patience with our 3 kids,especially when mine has run out! Basically, they have been a huge help in bringing them up which I will be eternally grateful for. Thanks to them I have been able to leave them for an afternoon or morning there to grocery shop alone etc - which to be honest was critical in me keeping my sanity for a while there.
ReplyDeleteThe staff here also cope when my husband and I are rushed and inevitably short tempered too. And when we have house guests for long periods.
They take on responsibility for lots of things around the house, always going the extra mile to make sure it's all immaculately clean, cared for, pets are fed etc.
They work well as a team, which means there is a good atmosphere at home. Plus they are honest and admirable for sticking to the tedious routine with a smile and a cheerful outlook at all times.
I could go on...
Nobody is perfect, we all have our off days - but overall I consider myself lucky to have some support.
I have friends/relations in UK who have to do all of the above alone, incl bringing up young kids, keep house, walk dogs daily etc.
I think I am enlightened enough to see that a lot of the time it's pure drudgery - even when you do have all the latest mod cons at your disposal.
I am a Kenyan, lived a middle class existence in Nairobi which meant that we have always had someone to help with the housework. Then we moved to live abroad and now I really get it.
ReplyDeleteIt is an absolute priviledge to have someone helping you in the house especially when you have three young children and I really appreciate that you get it. Keep treating your staff well. They are just if not more important than any other people would work for you the accountant, the lawyer, your doctor.
I really feel sorry for women in the West who have such a huge burden. They feel sorry for women of the south but they are the most burdened women in the planet. They have such demanding domestic work as well as the pressure to go out and have careers they are the real 'beasts of burden'.
I cant wait to come back home and live the easy life. I am glad I have had the opportunity to see life in the West and compare. I cant wait to come back to life in 'crazy' Nairobi with all its social ills. Because therein there is 'The true good life'.
I agree with Anonymous#2. I am also a Kenyan woman who grew up in Kenya but now find myself in the West, working an extremely demanding job with lots of travel. I don't have kids as yet, but often wonder how I'd cope if I did.
ReplyDeleteWomen in Kenya who can afford help truly can have it "all". Not so much in the West. My mother and others who brought up multiple children in Kenya were able to have careers, run a household, bring up kids as well as have time to entertain and socialize without feeling harassed and stressed like their counterparts in the West. And this was close to 30 years ago. Women in the West did not not have these opportunities at that time.
As Anonymous#2 points out, you don't actually "get it" until you come out here and have to do it all alone. You cannot put a price on the love and security your children get from being cared for by good help. As you've said, you cannot quantify the value of having some sanity, some "you" time - all with the assurance that your kids are in good hands. Very few women in the West have a chance to have "me" time until their kids are off to school, and even then, its only until they get back from school.
Keep treating your staff well, many of the nannies who raised us did so at the cost of not raising their own children. I so loved the ayah who took care of me from birth into my teenage years.
Coming back to Nairobi for vacation I am always shocked when I see how little regard people have for their house help. They will allow staff to wait around to serve them and wash dinner dishes way after 10:00PM, just because it suits their schedules. And this is after staff have come in at 6:00AM on the same day to prepare breakfast and get children ready for school!
House help and staff are not always perfect, I agree - but which work environment is? Certainly not mine, and I work in what is considered a professional corporate environment. We have a multitude of human resource issues there too.
Loved this post, love your blog. Great writing, Keep it up.
Any idea why some people in Nairobi say that however well they pay and treat their domestic staff, there is always pilfering going on by the staff, which they find disheartening after a while. Any thoughts?
ReplyDeleteThanks.
Is it true that there's a lot of pilfering by domestic staff? Anyone?
ReplyDeleteTwo posts have asked about pilfering amongst Nairobi domestic staff even if well paid, but there appears to be an embarrassed silence in response...
ReplyDeleteOkay folks, there is pilfering that goes on. Quite a few people/friends have had problems, not me so far (touch wood) but we've had the same staff since we arrived for 8 years luckily. There have been issues with night askaris and petty accusations of theft amongst our own staff though, something I've covered in previous posts.
ReplyDeleteI heard a well to do Kenyan lady in the gym changing room talking about this (don't assume it only happens amongst expats). She said that quite a lot of money had gone missing, an amount that her son had been given at birth, that was subsequently kept in a piggy bank in his room (a bit odd, it was 300,000/-!). She said that she was initially cross, then reasoned, what price for bringing up my son for me for the past 8 years? My son loves his nanny, she has always been so good to him, what is money? I can always go out and earn it back.
Personally, I would not tolerate theft otherwise where does it end? One day food, the next day cash or jewellery? I think that you should trust first, but don't be a total mug or too naive either.
There are characters who will take you for a ride, especially if you take your eye of the ball. This is real life after all. It happens the world over.
I enjoy reading your posts and even though I don't always agree with your views it opens my eyes on what expats think of Kenya. I agree that in Kenya as in most of the 3rd world countries majority of the people are priviledged enough to afford house help.For dad a cancer patient ,we could afford a cook for his special meals, 2 full time nurses (day and night),a washing/laundry lady for his clothes and a driver all these staff for him alone.Not to mention other staff around the house and the Security etc . All fantastic people all educated to O'level and no problems with them. Sadly, most employers do not take out a medical insurance and personal accident insurances for thier employees or train them on financial /salary management because in Kenya there is no Welfare system in place yet. We decided to do that for our staff as it is more economical for us in the long run. We have even gone as far as taking them to the bank to open thier accounts and we pay thier salaries via the bank so we can encourage money management.
ReplyDeleteI do not sit and have conversations or make tea for the househelp but I respect thier work and I am mindful of thier affairs.
I have an English Expat friend who is wonderful to his all his house help, he also has provided medical insurance,very good accomodation facities inclusive of gas and electricity. It is a good thing to know that there are expats who respect for thier Kenyan house-help.
PS: Not all Kenyan whites have money...Infact the more you know them the more you are suprised. So do not paint the picture that 'Mzungus' or Kenyan Cowboys ( I think it is derog) are all well to do.
Mariana, Nairobi
I know some people close to me who have had many problems with pilfering at their house in Nairobi: money and jewelry over a long period of time. They feel that they cannot live as if they are under a state of siege and rush to the safe to put away cash and valuables as soon as they get home - often tired and distracted - and sometimes, no doubt, distracted by their staff just when they get home. Large amounts of money and very valuable jewelry has disappeared. They often remark on how suddenly these things can happen - in a matter of seconds, with astounding light-fingeredness.
ReplyDeleteWhat do they do about it? Well, shockingly very little. Why? Because, they reason 1) v. unlikely anyone will own up and you end up creating a really bad atmosphere 2) if you call the police, potentially you create new problems for yourself, including the risk of the police themselves casing your property 3) if you get new staff, you don't know how they will turn out 4) if you get rid of staff under a bad cloud, there's the risk of them striking back at you/your children in some shape or form, especially since they know so much about you, your home, your family, your lifestyle, the other staff etc etc. And so they muddle along, managing an unhappy situation as best as they can. I would not live like that, but they do.
I'm sorry I don't agree with the rationalisation of the lady who costed the theft of KSh. 300,000 as the price of bringing up her child. That is conflating two separate things, and also a sure sign of helplessness. Theft is theft. Yes, its causes can be looked at, and an enlightened employer will give much thought to pay and conditions. There are many poor countries in the world and poor peoples around, but there is a particular problem in Kenya, a problem of thieving and violence. People do not want to talk about it openly because of political correctness. From your askari (the guard at your gates), to your bank manager to your MP, there is a cancer of criminality and deep distrust in Kenya.
Of course, I'm not saying that every Kenyan is a criminal - that would be daft. But there is enough of a problem, it is too widespread, too recurring, and with a noticeable pattern to it for it to be ignored by anyone who has an ounce of honesty.
I was born in Nairobi and whilst I no longer live there, I visit regularly. I talk to people who live there and talk, also, to staff in places like hotels, clubs, restaurants to get a pretty good idea of what's going on. It is not pretty.
I hope you will allow this post to run for a bit before posting a new topic, because I suspect many people have strong feelings about this subject and I would want them to be encouraged to contribute.
Thank you.
I had to chime in on the househelp issue. I also live in the West and I now know that we were privileged to have help around the house when we were young. Even though some workers may pilfer or not do as they are told, as you start of with a new one, treat them well.
ReplyDeleteI have read blogs written by Kenyan women and some write in a very condescending tone about househelps. Some don't give them a day off every week yet they get one wherever they work. They complain if the househelp "ate the cheese". Yes, someone actually posted that on facebook. These people deserve consideration and respect, like one of the above said. After all, they live in your home and have access to your family.
For those who steal, I attribute it to greed or the perception that you the employer has unlimited resources so they can take a little extra because you won't miss it. It's a bad culture and this is what makes some people resentful.
The woman who had 300 K in a piggy bank is unbelievable! That money should have been in a bank preferably in a some interest earning account for the son to access when he is of age.
I can only take my hat off to the impressive roster of talent and skill of the English series. I really hope to continue producing more things like this in the factory yours to the delight of all.
ReplyDeleteIt's just perfect the atmosphere of the time and classes cohabit in it. And then you come to mind the equally wonderful "Upstairs, Downstairs", although old, is still a benchmark.
It's a series for lovers of vintage series, craftsmanship and drama students in our country.
An indispensable series with a few interior and exterior scenes of story, a marvel for the senses.
ReplyDelete