Our gardener's wife had a baby over the weekend. I just went to visit them in hospital (so that I could pay the bill). There is a catch 22 situation here in Kenya where you have to pay costs in full in order to 'check out' of hospital. For those who can't pay, the rule is; 'you can't leave', so ironically the bills just keep on mounting. There are rumours of patients who owe millions of shillings in Kenyatta National Hospital and have to live there because they can never leave as there is too many backdated bills owing. What kind of a system is that?
The baby and mum in question looked bonny and well, which was a relief after I'd heard that it was quite a difficult birth. Plus the first pregnancy had ended in miscarriage not so long ago. While I was happy to help out financially, it has been an interesting opening to the year, highlighting the reality of living with this endemic gulf of means between the haves and the have nots, with not a support system in sight.
One of the hardest parts about moving to a developing country is coping with being faced by such a startling disparity of wealth, especially seen in an urban capital with sprawling slums like Nairobi. I think that there are no answers; everyone simply has to find their own balance. There are good days and not so good days. When I am feeling particularly bad, I tell myself that living in the West, comfortably removed from the harsh injustices of the developing world, is not necessarily better. My husband despairs of my need to indulge myself by watching trashy E! TV, reality series with celebs living out their lives only worrying about which shoes to wear for the next party, or when they are possibly going to fit in ‘hair and make-up’ in their busy schedule. I love it for its escapism. Anyway, I digress.... Here are some examples to illustrate the 'disparity of wealth' gap.
The Gardener
Our gardener, a young, very nice chap. Evidently he saved some money to pay for the birth hospital fees (but I guess he also must have known that 4,000/- was never going to be nearly enough) and I was very glad that he admitted his wife into a place with good doctors and care. I was aware that our gardener's wife was pregnant again since we stepped in to help over the miscarriage too, but to be honest, neither the gardener nor I had had a real discussion over how the inevitable hospital fees were going to be tackled. I think we were both in denial. In the event we got a phone call early on Sunday morning, and so took a diversion on the way to a kids biking event (that was a nightmare - another story!),and met him on the road to throw all the cash we had in our wallets through the car window at him, promising to pay any balance later.
At hospital today, I paid said balance. I asked is his wife had anyone to help her at home, then offered some extra cash for the journey back to his house not far away.
‘1,000/- please. I think it’s best if we take a taxi.’
I felt like saying ‘sorry, you’ve cleaned me out.’ \
Instead I say, ‘I’ll give you 600/-.’
In the absence of a state welfare system or free medical care, and as employers, we are obviously happy to help, but it seems that the old 'God will provide' adage, rather than boring old forward planning, is still very much alive too. Lets face it, it turns out that very often rather than God, it’s us.
Our Ex-Askari
Our ex-nightwatchman paid us a visit. He’s the guy who lives in Kibera who borrowed our car for his 'renewal of vows' Kibera wedding recently (see numerous previous posts). We provided sodas, crisps a driver etc too. The latest is; he said he needed medicine for what had been diagnosed as early onset osteoporosis. He had managed to have hospital scans (a Swiss lady/missionary who he met in Kibera had apparently paid for these) and said that a 6 month course of pills would cure him completely - but as things stood he could barely walk around or leave his house. Again, we handed over cash.
Let me tell you, having paid out 13th month bonuses for current employees and had a lot of visitors recently, plus Christmas, school fees and a self catering week at the coast - it gets increasingly hard to part with hand-outs - but I ask you, how can you argue when you are sitting in a lovely garden, next to a pretty house, having just had a swimming pool built with a guy who lives in Kibera?!
So, having just agreed to pay for medical treatment, our ex-nightwatchan turns around and says;
'My wife and I have been discussing something recently. We talked about how you have been helping us for very many years and decided that we would very much like you both to give us flights to England, so that maybe we can walk around with you for perhaps a week or so and look at the place.'
My husband and I nearly spat out the tea we were sipping.
'What?'
I’ll be honest with you. For a moment there, I thought he was talking about giving us flights. It took a while for the message to sink in. The ex-askari repeated the question.
'My wife and I think it would be good to visit England. We have been to Uganda and Rwanda but never England. Maybe you could take us as your guests and we could have a look around?'
My husband says; ‘he honestly thinks we are some sort of bottomless pit of giving. He hasn’t worked for us for over five years!’
Before giving him a lift to the nearest bus stage, I notice he's asked the gardener for any old plastic containers. I give him a few more plus a packet of biscuits then ran him down the road.
Drought in Kenya
The La Nina weather phenomenon that is contributing to the heavy flooding in Australia and Brasil is conversely the cause of drought here. El Nino means rain here, La Nina can mean drought. The Kenya Red Cross are currently trying to persuade the local Government to address the drought problem officially, but they seem too busy worrying about raising ICC legal defence costs, The Hague and party politics to notice.
When it’s dry you see herds of cows right inside town, blocking roads, grazing on verges. I had once assumed that owners and herdsmen somehow drove cows here in search of pasture but recently I learned that there is more to it than this.
‘Because of the drought, cows in Eastern Province are now selling for 6,000 shillings per cow where once they were worth 100,000/-. They are selling the cows off because they cannot feed them. I have seen very many trucks full of cows coming into Nairobi, bought by businessmen who buy them cheap. They have money for feed. This is how business works during these times.’
'We used to be able to read the seasons, the signs of rain coming, the clouds and the birds. Now it is very difficult to predict the weather. No one knows what is happening. Planters plant at the wrong time. Global warming is very dangerous for us. Things have changed so much over the past few years. We have to learn how to adapt for our children.'
Staying on the Kenya Coast.
We stayed in Watamu over New Year week. There were no teenagers between us so we stayed low key eating lots of fish. On New Year itself we had a family meal, watched fireworks from our poolside, played charades with the kids. Between that and dealing with the punchy fish dealer who had tripled his prices for high season, dodging teenagers riding on the back of landrovers or speedboats, we couldn’t help but notice that there was also a pretty serious water shortage going on.
My husband said something along the lines of:
‘Never before has it hit me so hard, that this situation over water has become really serious. Seeing plastic water containers lined up everywhere along the side of the road, watching women carrying water on their heads, it makes you realise how precious a commodity it is, that one day fresh water really is going to run out, and then what will we do?’
'That's cheery.' I said.
Meanwhile, back to disparity of wealth – we had rented a house so that we could swim, take beach trips, read and relax. The rent we paid was pretty high by our standards – but conversely, we couldn’t help but notice how water containers were quickly squirreled away by the guys who worked in the house. How Faniki, the cleaner’s flip-flops had completely worn through and were stapled in place – how life in the village directly behind the house went on with a fire burning all day, women making makuti (roof coverings made from palm leaf), or washing clothes, sweeping, eating ugi. On one hand you have Flavio Briatore, on the other .... a mud hut. I wonder if he notices?
Interesting post. I wish you would post more often. Hate (not in a bad way) the long lapses between posts these days. You need your vacation time though so we'll accept whatever we can get.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to be the same everywhere in Kenya. The employer/employee relationship creates a very complicated web to navigate through. One feels attached to loyal/trustworthy employees (for the most part) and wants to help in as much as they can when needed. However, it gets to a point where, I feel, a line has to be drawn to avoid hurt and very awkward situations. So as opposed to giving 'free' hand outs for unexpected expenses we now try to emphasize that any money given is a loan and will have to be paid back without any terms (i.e. interest etc). This dissuades any tendency of individuals to see open money bags and return at every little whim (free trip to the UK) they think can be financed at no cost to themselves. It may sound mean but we have found it has helped our people plan a little better and save that extra shilling more.
Translates somewhat to the foreign aid post you put up some time back. Do free handouts ultimately lead to development and progress or just utter and helpless self reliance on the part of recipients? It could be argued a lot of ways but my opinion is that once a person can be made self reliant (through painful denial of funds in some instances) the majority of the problem of poverty can be tackled (I know, not as simple as it sounds).
Enough with the long comment. Good read though, liked this post alot.
PS. You should have your people subscribe to the NHIF. Relatively cheap (2,000 shs approx/per year) and covers a good portion of medical expense. Maternity costs covered pretty sure.
Hi there
ReplyDeleteGreat blog!
Im very interested in emailing you directly in regards to an upcoming move from Sydney Australia to Kenya.
If you would like to make contact, my email is anna.tillotson@hotmail.com
Would be great to hear from you.
Cheers
Anna
hilarious, you captured so much but the icing on the cake:
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have been discussing something recently. We talked about how you have been helping us for very many years and decided that we would very much like you both to give us flights to England, so that maybe we can walk around with you for perhaps a week or so and look at the place.
Honestly...you are being too nice to them. Take this from a Kenyan man who knows how to deal with sob stories. You can help, but don't allow yourself to be used as circumstantial ATM.
There is a disparity of wealth all over the world, even communisism is/was unable the deal with that!
ReplyDeleteYou are being taken for a mug - what happens when bank of Mr & Mrs Ex-pat goes bust or leaves Kenya?
I am sure that Mr Ex-Pat has to live within his means or is he able to go to his employers and ask for hand-outs? I doubt that very much! You have built up an expectation amongst your staff and ex-staff that you will always be there with a hand-out. Is that fair to them? Is that fair on yourself?
I realise that I have more than my staff, but instead of letting guilt rule my purse strings, I encourage them to help themselves. I run a savings and an education program with my staff. For every shilling they are able to save, I put in 4. This way they know that they are helping themselves and have self esteem knowing that they are doing their bit.
Hand outs and guilt will never get this country anywhere. One day we, the ex-pats, will not be here and the people that we have educated are the future.
hi expat wife,
ReplyDeletei totally loved this post! had me laughing half the time and nodding my head in agreement as well.
i do think your staff seem to be taking your generosity a bit too far :) if you were considering taking your ex-askari to the u.k i'd advise against it. he might just move in with you next :D
but i do get how you feel guilty sometimes when you have so much and the person next door so little! the gap in kenya is astronomical, embarassing even.
the land of extremes indeed.
xoxo
Thanks for the constructive comments and - Anon - many apologies for not posting more often. Will definitely be blogging more now that things have calmed down my end. Just spent an hour looking at Golden Globes frocks online! Heaven!
ReplyDeleteAm not trying to make light of the needs of your staff, but why don't you try the following experiment when you're next in England: walk down Kensington Park Gardens in London and knock on the doors of the mansions there asking for a bit of help to buy some Golden Globes frocks.
ReplyDeleteAfterwards, you can write a post about your experiences.
Thanks for another interesting post, I too wish you'd post more regularly! The story about the askari wanting to go to England is just too hilarious! I for a moment thought you were making it up. Anyway, just to mention that the disparity on wealth also has a great impact on the working middle class. Relatives always assume that you have a bottomless pit of cash, and most often they cannot understand why you cannot help them out while you are driving a car and living in a decent house.
ReplyDeleteHilarious story about the flights to Britain - it does make you wonder what world people live in! I always found it very hard to limit money to staff, or to know how to deal with illnesses and medical treatment. Medicine was the area where perhaps the biggest disparities showed themselves. It has made me much more grateful for the NHS.
ReplyDeletehi afriexpat, long absences make the heart grow fonder but what a long absence!! we love ur posts though.in kenya, there is a program called--NHIF; national health ins fund. for those that make less that 5k a month they pay abt 500 bob a month. it could have covered for all the maternity expenses. i know a poor lady in western kenya who enrolled four months b4 giving birth and her expenses woth 13k were fully paid for five payments made acummulating to 2500/-. another issue, you and ur husband are very kind and to some extent too kind as if ur sorry and you have to always compensate. mark you i am kenyan and cant say im wealthy. there is an african proverb that says "feed a man fish n you have satisfied him for a day, but teach a man how to fish and you have fed him for eternity.
ReplyDeleteyour fiends can be enrolled at no cost to microcredit institutions like jamii bora and faulu kenya and kenya womens trust. these give small loans to members and teach them business ideas. the more you repay you minute loan the bigger loans they accomodate you as your biz grows. find them, enroll them for 100/- each, let them identify a small enterprise they can indulge in during spare time and watch the $$ rain on 'em as kenya is an emerging economy and everything is golden at touch. wakuwe wajanja pia. i believe you have heard of kaputei town, an eco-city built by members of jamii bora, 2-bed hses at 150k each? thats how thy started 5yrs ago.
for farming, let them subscribe for free the amazing organic farmer magazine thats making small scale poor farmers drive pick up trucks full of horticultures n poultry n rabbit(sells for 2k a full grown n 50 of them cost 50 bob to feed a day in ruiru nrbi!)
hey am not preaching but i love yapping abt entreprenuership and empowerment. any question? hit me up at samfinogega.at.yahoo.dot.com
peculiar kenyan.
Loved it. Waves of fellow feeling from us. I DO think its important to give where we can, but I'm now trying to talk much more clearly as I hand over the money about our budgetting and prioritisation as well 'Well we can't give you that loan this month if you also want the school fees as we haven't got any more money left' so even if our staff think 'that's her odd tick & spiel she always says,' maybe at some level it will get internalised! Keep blogging, its a bright spark in my day reading you!
ReplyDeletekenya has long been known to be a land of 'ten thousand tycoons' and 'ten million poor.' my hope is that now they have a new constitunional dispensation that opens up avenues once privy to the elite; they will wisen up, guard against impunity and work for prosperity. recent studies show africa as the last frontier; a place of emerging markets and unlimited untapped potential (hope u too expatwivesclub are churning some $$) so young people should not wait for govt to provide jobs rather they should make the jobs with the incentives of zero taxes in the informal sector except vat.
ReplyDeleteanother note expatwivesclub, dont be an open moneybag, i would understand if the kibera guy came to you and said, hey, you know this motorcycle biz, well i need a loan from equity bank to get one of this cycle taxi could you loan me ten thousand shillings i repay back so i can make the ten % deposit. and not this england sightseeing travel travel stuff and yet cant pay for meds-sorry am being hard on him. i am kenyan and i find that really of concern.
young kenyan
they are taking advantage of your kindness. put your foot down. they don't care about you or your family. they would sell you out in a second. Sorry, you are an obvious kind woman and I hate to see you taken advantage of. It is to the detriment of your own family. they would never get that with another kenyan employer.
ReplyDeleteI think you should make make friends with a lot of middle class or normal kenyans.I am sure that you have several neighbours,fellow parents, who are in business or politics who you can make friends with,then you would see how they relate to their domestic staff and the guilt you have will disappear.You seem to only relate to gardeners and housemaids and bse your 'understanding' of kenyans from them which is completely misplaced.And this is what makes your staff take advantage of you and exergerate their vulnability,to fleece you of your cash.I am very sure gardeners employed by the Moi family,which has billions of pounds in London banks,pay their staff worse than you do and relate differently because they do not force the guilt on themselves.Once you expand your circle of local friends at your social economic level,then your staff will know that you have now learnt their tricks and they will not bother you.Most Kenyans at your level have worse problems with reltives and the entire villge expecting handouts from them that they have learnt on how to live guilt free and poor PR in the village.Goodluck!!!!!!! Dmitry
ReplyDeletei have to understand that maybe they have genuine concerns that they feel you can help address and not necessarily solve. mark the difference kindly...i mean draw a line. if i were you, i would help them learn how to fish as said above that fish and feed. plz allow me to post this article attachment from the kenyan daily standard newspaper: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/news/InsidePage.php?id=2000027226&cid=159&story=Ugenya%20couple%20sets%20pace%20in%20dairy%20farming.
ReplyDeletei believe each and every one of them and maybe you included could do something like shown in the article not necessarily along the same lines but uplifting all the same.
also thanks for helping them in the many ways you have.
Quite an interesting post. I loved reading it. The aid-induced lack of self-help in Africa is a major issue. I've enjoyed using the Kiva website to send "mini-loans" to disadvantaged folks, and an impressed that they nearly always pay them back while they work on their own small businesses.
ReplyDeleteAs a health care provider, I think the story of the "early onset osteoporosis" and not being able to walk without 6 months of medications sounds awfully fishy! I wouldn't fall for that one. Ha!
Hi Expat wife,
ReplyDeleteInteresting post!Always a great read.Being a kenyan in middle class,we faced a problem with househelps asking for things(school fees,loans) despite an okay salary.This started because my mom being nice,would give handouts/bonus.This was taken as my mom being a jackpot.Hence being taken advantage of.
We recently got a new help,hard worker and extremely efficient-we almost feel like we underpay her.Emotions aside,no handouts despite her great work however an increase in salary is given.(may sound mean but it's for the best)Though,my mom advised her to open an account and my mum would deposit cash there.also,my mom advised her to save a part of her salary for a year to buy a piece of land in her rural area.Then she would save a part in the next year so she can build a house.this is benefitial as she could farm and earn extra cash to help her family.Being nice is okay..but being too nice,esp. where money is involved can be tricky!
sorry for the loooong comment
You are being too nice. There I said it and I'm a Kenyan, though living abroad at the moment. What the watchman said was funny but also presumptuous! He obviously sees you as a bottomless money pit.I cannot understand how you can do so much for someone and he keeps asking for more i.e. a paid vacation. Really? Like others have said, learn how to set some boundaries and possibly point your workers in the "learn to fish" direction. I'm not saying that you turn and become mean to the workers but they need to know they can't exploit your kindness.
ReplyDeleteThe guilt you feel is something most Kenyans who seem to have more deal with everyday with relatives. Sometimes you have to say no to preserve your sanity and take care of yourself too. It would also be good to make friends with some locals like others said. You would gain a different perspective of things and be exposed to different facets of Kenyan life. Keep writing, you have a good blog