Last week, and this, there has been a debate raging – sparked off by the marriage of two Kenyan men in the UK. Oddly enough, while the West has moved on and being gay or not gay there is not so much of an issue, Kenya has been stuck in a time warp. Being gay in Kenya is taboo. The act is illegal and considered a criminal offense. Many say that the publicity surrounding the marriage of two Kenyan men has brought shame on the country. I always did say that in many ways, living in Kenya today is like Britain in the 1950s. The story has actually been quite sad, because the Nation has reported that the family of the couple in Murang’a are being constantly harassed since the story broke. In fact there was a photograph of a particularly miserable old man who is a ‘relative of Daniel Chege’.
Since the story broke, the radio airwaves have been hot on the topic. The funniest moment in the debate has to have been the comments made by Kenyan priest Fr Ambrose Muli, who on Sunday preached an inflammatory sermon in Malindi. He placed blame firmly at the door of Kenyan women for the fact that some Kenyan men are gay. To paraphrase,
‘Today, as we celebrate this Holy Mass, I am a very, very disappointed man,’
‘This so called marriage between the two Kenyan men in London last week, why do you think it happened? What went wrong? What is the matter?’
Apparently the congregation had fallen into dead silence by this point.
‘This is because the women are no longer marriageable.’
At this point the congregation started murmuring. A few women said, ‘no, no, no’ and shook their heads, but the priest hadn’t really got started yet.
‘Women, from the way that I see it, have become too complicated and unattractive in marriage. You don’t provide what God intended you to give in marriage. You have frustrated the men so much leading them to try amongst themselves whether they will get the joy that comes with marriage.’
The Nation said; ‘Women could not take it lying down’ and started shouting at the priest saying that the problem was with the men. But still the priest wasn’t finished,
‘There is something very, very wrong with women these days. You have failed to handle men the way you should. Men don’t see anything useful if you. The job that God gave you, you have failed to do.’ He said. Apparently there was uproar. Female radio DJs are still furious and bickering with their male co-hosts over what men should expect from marriage and women.
Later in his sermon, Fr Muli went on to highlight the responsibility of parents to look after and guard their children, bringing them up in a righteous manner – which was beginning to sound a little less loopy – especially in light of the reputation Malindi has as a sex holiday destination for the rest of the world. Perhaps he was trying to wind everybody up in order to draw a bit of attention to the problems of sex tourism in Malindi – but somehow I doubt it. Wives everywhere are still bristling. Women leaders have demanded an apology.
I'm not sure if this is amusing, disturbing, or a bit of both.
ReplyDeleteI have recently arrived in Nairobi and have enjoyed your blog. The discussion forum has been a particularly helpful starting point in looking for schools, doctors, etc...Thank you,
Nicole Bellows
Riverside Park Apartments
nmbellows@yahoo.com
It is tragic and unfortunate that some people in Africa have these archaic views. I am Kenyan, but I was born and raised in Canada. I made a trip to East Africa last year, and while in Uganda, I heard about a newspaper that "exposed" gay and lesbians. If they did that here, I'm pretty sure they would have been arrested! I was so shocked at the homophobic language that was being used to describe them. Who are they to judge what other people do in their bedrooms ? It makes me so sad to see that people are being persecuted for their/their relatives sexual orientation. I hope one day that mentality will change, because its so terrible.
ReplyDeleteps: I love your blog!
I think it will take a while for gay practices to be accepted in Kenya. Most if not all the tribes hold strong to traditional practices of marriage between men and women. It will be a hard sell to convince Kenyans to accept different lifestyles. I married a white american man and my family was a little disappointed that I did not choose a Kikuyu man.
ReplyDeleteThat priest should not have blamed the women though cause it takes two to make a marraige/relationship or break it. That was undermining women and it's about time women in Kenyan communities were treated as human beings instead of property or objects.
When I came to the states, I admit I used to stare at gay people...., (couldn't help it). It made me uncomfortable cause I had never seen it, but now I got used to it since it's everywhere and widely accepted. Only religious groups rally against it.
I heard a statistic on the radio (local) that 30% of women in Kenya believe they deserve to be beaten if they burn food! I am not sure that would be acceptable in Britain even in the 1950s...
ReplyDelete‘Women, from the way that I see it, have become too complicated".
ReplyDeleteWomen have always been complicated - where has this silly man been?
;)
If I were in a church service that blamed women like that, I would have gotten up and walked out.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting to read about. I live in North Africa, and it's clear that gay practices are never going to be accepted in Muslim countries, either.
Expat 21 at Expat Abroad
expat21.wordpress.com
One thing I will NEVER understand is how men (from the pope down to the priest) whose profession disqualifies them from knowing women intimately and marrying them, could have any useful opinions about women.
ReplyDeleteWhat I do hope to understand before I die is how so many millions still follow the prescriptions of these men on AIDS, sexuality, marriage and many other societal issues.
One of the many comments that exposes either our(Kenyans) ignorance or hypocrisy.
ReplyDeleteAs a Kenya gay man, I used to ask for visibility of any kind because I felt that if that happens then people would get enlightened about us and bring discussion about us to the public realm.
As you can imagine, I am not sure anymore..I was kinda used to living my life with my partner without much fuss as my social circle had accepted us that way. now with all the media on the case of homosexuals, our families are a bit worried about us.
This priest should know that there is nothing a woman can do to make (or change) a gay person.