It's that time of year again... Christmas Craft Fairs in Nairobi

It’s the season to be shopping...


My phone bursts to life. A text message reads. ‘Xmas fair; children’s toys, stocking fillers, great gift ideas. 200/- Entrance. Come & buy!’ Or words to that effect...

Even though I always have a huge amount of Christmas shopping to do (16 nieces, a nephew, godchildren etc), the prospect of setting foot inside any kind of fair fills me with trepidation. There are a number of reasons why:

• First there is the dread of actually setting foot in the place. It’s always worth enlisting a friend to accompany you for moral support. Browsing round tents manned and peopled by trendy mzungus takes some nerve!

• You often have to pay to get in which frankly seems a bit of a cheek and often forces you to make rash purchases so that you don’t have to go back.

• Once inside you’ll find that there are more people selling than there are buying. The pressure is on!

• Nothing is ever priced so you find yourself having to ask. Challenging; since stall holders are often more interested in chin wagging with friends than attending to customers.

• When you are casually told the cost of an item you fall into shock. The only option is to reverse out of the tent at top speed, trying desperately not to knock anything over.

• Will anyone back home actually appreciate the gifts? Sadly, the perception in England is that if something is bought in Africa it’s bound to have cost next to nothing. The reality is that when it comes to gifts, clothes and toys, it’s almost certainly cheaper to shop back home.

• Lastly ... and this is the kicker; totally undisciplined, I’ll invariably emerge having blown my entire budget on a single item bought for yours truly. It’ll be something that I’ve decided I cannot live without and the Christmas list be damned anyway! I’m a hopeless case.

Wills & Katie

I'm going to be lambasted for saying this, but isn't the engagement between Waity Katie and Wills just the teensiest bit boring?  I know that we all need cheering up because of the financial crisis but hasn't it just been too predictable for words, especially since the pair have been playing house for ages up in Anglesey or wherever it was.

For years now, the devil in me has been waiting for Wills to do something really naughty, like, for instance, run off with Chelsea Davy, but no.  It's just been Katie, looking skinny and immaculately groomed ...waiting.  William's inner circle of friends remain studiously loyal, tight lipped so no glimmer of news there.  The biggest snip of gossip we got hold of over the past five years, was Wills landing helicopter in Kate's garden when he was showing off.  Yawn.

I hadn't given it much thought until I was flicking through Hello magasine with my cousin last year.  She said.

'I can't help but feel annoyed by these pictures of Kate Middleton.  She's always either horsing around on a quad bike, sitting on a ski lift or posing on a yacht, attending a shooting party or a friend's wedding.  Don't you think she seems just a bit... a bit pointless?'

Or maybe I'm just insanely jealous....or then again, maybe not...

A little bit later...

Okay, I just saw them on the BBC news and they did look quite sweet!

Can't believe they got engaged in Kenya in October - at Lewa Downs of course.

And Kate has been given Diana's engagement ring.

Look at me now.... getting all carried away!!

The secondary school dilemma

Sorry to lower the tone but I have this condition. It’s crept up on me recently. I thought I could fight it but now I feel it has spiralled beyond my control. It gets worse every time I go out, especially to social things, a dinner party, drinks, restaurants or over to a friend’s for lunch, it can even strike whilst innocently drinking coffee. Sometimes I feel that this condition is not entirely my fault because lately it has been become a pandemic.

The Problem

I CAN’T STOP TALKING ABOUT SCHOOLS.

It is not so much talking about the school my children are currently attending, (though I am guilty of nattering ad nauseam about this too). The problem is more the dilemma of where they will go to school next, i.e. for secondary education.

The question; ‘And what are you going to do with your three?’ trips off the tongue all too easily. It’s an easy opener in social situations when you can’t think of anything else to talk about. But beware, once you have touched on the subject of schools, the floodgates well and truly open. Once your child reaches the age of nine or ten, it’s the conversation on everyone’s lips.

Which secondary school to choose is a worry that keeps me awake at night and makes me even wish that I wasn’t British. The French, Belgians, Germans that I know are all much more cool about these things. Their parents never paid to educate them, so why should they worry? But in UK and Kenya too, overreaching yourself to pay for to educate your children is a real agony.

Expats in Nairobi are spoiled for choice with many excellent primary schools but when we get to secondary, we seem to fall apart completely. Parents end up falling into one of three categories and never the twain shall meet.

I asked a boy who was schooled at primary in Kenya and is currently at secondary in UK,
‘do you still see your old age mates who are still at school here?’

Answer: A categorical ‘no’.

1. Educate Locally

Some keep their children in secondary schools here. I really wish we all did this, then we’d be on a level playing field. Since many expats chose a different route, the decision to keep your kids close is cast into doubt.  Perhaps the facilities on offer locally aren’t quite up to scratch?  You fear that you are not giving your children the chance to ever ‘get out’ of rather a small pond in Kenya. Another major problem is that the expat community tends to hear in grisly detail all about all the latest infractions of teenage students at local schools.

‘Did you hear what went on at the Karen Country Lodge/Carnivore last Thursday?’ ‘Little Johnny’s been expelled for drugs.’
(obviously, these problems are universal)
Wealthier parents scratch their chin and shake their heads, implying ‘you should have sent them away like we did. Excellent pastoral care. It’s a sacrifice worth making.’

On the up side; if your kids are educated here in Nairobi or elsewhere Kenya, then at least you can keep a close eye on your offspring since they will be coming home every day or at least every weekend.

2. South African Private Schools

Some expats send their kids to South African boarding schools where the fees are the same as Nairobi private schools but the facilities are more on a par with those in England. The only problem is that the South African education system is fairly unique; they follow a Matric system that doesn’t correspond well with the British one that naturally leads onto gaining a place at a UK university. There are also four terms instead of three so holidays never fit in with those of siblings.

3. British Public Schools

English public school is the third option. Many of us feel we should be able to do this, because it’s what our parents selflessly did at vast personal cost. But the world has gone mad. At today’s prices, educating all three in England would cost us more than half a million pounds that we simply don’t have. To put it into perspective – our new pool (which incidentally is going on swimmingly, excuse the pun), and seems enormously expensive and hugely self-indulgent to have chosen to put in, would have paid for one and a half TERMS (not years) at British public school for ONE child only!!! And we have 3 kids!! Plus that’s before you have factored in long haul flights at the beginning and end of each term plus return flights for half term breaks, uniform, spending money, school trips, extras. (You won’t believe it, but ‘normal’ people actually manage this!)

Conscientious friends of mine have been doing whirlwind tours of private schools in England, kindly reporting back to their more thrifty neighbours who prefer to bury their head in the sand (me). I learn with some amazement that English boarding schools have changed enormously since my day when, to put it kindly, they were relatively basic.

In my mind, private schools in England today have morphed into private members clubs. For example, there are now fully equipped theatres on campus, Olympic sized indoor swimming pools, astro turf pitches, language labs with smart boards and banks of the latest computers (one per child), each boarding house has a private gym (I’ve seen this, really!), a restaurant or at the very least, a help yourself 'free' cafe. Old style dormitories have been replaced by private rooms with en suite bath or shower.

I do wish that UK private schools had kept the facilities simple and therefore the fees lower, but I suppose that competition for the few students whose parents are able to afford to pay has forced this change.

There’s another difference too, the little preciouses are able to escape nowadays because the modern approach of schools is to let them all go home or to a friend every single weekend if they so desire. Imagine the horror, our long-haul/overseas lassies might find themselves all alone in a deserted school that normally has 700 kids enrolled.

What to do?

If you can afford private education in England (and, in the first instance, paying for it in Kenya is no easy feat), then ask yourself, what sort of children would emerge? We might assume that after the comforts of a private UK school, real life might come as something of a shock. University and/or a 9-5 job would be a terrible step down after life within the heady confines of ‘The Club’. Then there’s the Gap Yah – how would one ever cope with roughing it when, up until now, all one has had to worry about was their Facebook status and which Jack Wills hoody to buy? Would your children be completely out of step with real life demanding to accompany wealthier friends on holiday to Barbados and the like.

Mind you, now that UK Universities are going to be so expensive for students (the government are no longer planning to subsidise tuition fees), I guess university will be the exclusive domain of private school kids - so it’ll just be like a giant reunion. No culture shock.

Option 4 – the one that I forgot to tell you about

A few people have chosen to send their kids to a handful of state grammar schools in England that are now beginning to accept boarders and seem to like ones from overseas. These boarding grammars charge the same for one year as English private schools charge per term. This would seem to be the perfect compromise only that the concept is still fairly new, there are questions over whether these state grammars are properly set up for pastoral care and there is still the problem of the place emptying out at weekends. Correct me if I am wrong.

Conundrum

It’s not so simple is it? When looking at a photograph of an English public school art and design studio, full of girls with bunched up long hair and sleeves pulled down long over their hands, I sighed deeply. Given the chance, our daughters would probably love it and there’s that nagging worry that won’t go away – by staying within the confines of what you can afford, you aren’t doing as much for your kids as your parents did for you.

What a dreadfully middle class dilemma I am in! For the moment, my plan is to keep the children here but what happens when my eldest and I nearly kill each other as we hit the teenage years will be interesting. In the meantime, I might change my mind – surprise lottery win permitting.

Interesting related article re private schools struggling during recession: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/8132240/Private-schools-keeping-down-fees-to-attract-students.html

Where on earth is 'The Real Africa'?

Visitors and foreigners often say how much they enjoyed their visit, however they would still very much like to see ‘the real Kenya’ or indeed ‘the real Africa’. I must admit that once, on a writing course, I alluded to the fact that running through villages with the totally embarrassing Hash House Harriers (eccentric expat phenomenon) I too was privy to a glimpse of the ‘hidden Africa’. (Don’t worry; I am totally wincing when I remember this!! Can’t believe I ever wrote it!). My tutor duly cut me right down to size.

‘Who do you think that this ‘Africa’ is hidden away from? Presumably not the people that live there?’

Anyway – my question today is, what is the ‘Real Africa’, or rather, what do we visitors mean by the term?

Let me guess.

On arrival, tourists are disappointed by unexpected glittering shopping centres in Nairobi filled with shops that look so much like the ones back home, or are dissatisfied by lodges and national parks filled with so many tourists just like them. The Africa they see is just too nice. Not like the images we are used to viewing on the BBC news. Expats who come to live here, to their surprise, find other foreigners are exactly like them are working and living perfectly normal suburban lives, sending their kids to nice (hopefully slightly mixed) schools. I’ve heard the same expression from them. ‘It’s kind of fake isn’t it?’ they say, ‘I was expecting something more real. I only feel like I’m in Africa when I’m on safari.’ (This view is especially true for housewives like me, who are not working but instead might be stuck in the home, school run, gym, coffee circuit. I think that working in an office environment in Nairobi today can be very much ‘real’).

I feel lucky to have lived here in East Africa for a long time now and, like lots of foreigners who have lived here for more than a year or so, I’ve seen quite a few things that might qualify as images from ‘the real Africa’, I’m not sure. I’ve been inside a Masai manyatta, in fact I’ve smelt the smoke and swatted flies right inside a masai hut. I’ve been to Kibera four times now and dodged muddy puddles in the rain, witnessed the sheer grinding poverty of it, been followed by children wanting to touch my white skin (went again this morning – thus the resulting philosophic blog post). I’ve also been lucky enough to interview Kenyan entrepreneurs who keep pushing valiantly forward in the firm belief that their businesses can succeed and take them to places they want to go. Along the way I’ve visited schools and villages, been sung to by children, gone to weddings and funerals, sat in a matatu. I’ve eaten ugali, shopped in second hand markets/mitumba. Smelt the smells. I’ve also been to game parks and watched huge African sunsets and moon rises, sat on white sand Indian Ocean beaches, splashed in warm waves, lived by the sea and lived far from the sea.

For outsiders, I think it is our preconceptions of ‘Africa’ that are badly at fault, skewing our viewpoint so that we can no longer see what is right in front of our face. The experiences I’ve had, especially the brushes with poverty, do not necessarily give me a better impression of what is reality here. Why should 'Africa' be defined only by poverty, whereby signs of wealth or prosperity appear too incongruous to digest, they fail to stack up.  In my opinion the ‘real Africa’ is found when you chat to people you are lucky enough to meet every single day.

It could be the hotel chef who is smiling even at five-thirty in the morning as you head out on your game drive, the knowledgeable safari guide who knows how to read the landscape, the waiter who is patient as you dither over whether to order a cappuccino, or the persistent hawker selling dvds on the street, the guy who sells flowers, the man wearing a suit who runs an NGO in the slum having lived there proudly for thirty years – all the while resisting the temptation to throw in the towel, giving up to sniff glue or take drugs.

I reckon that it is simply within human exchanges that you will find today’s ‘real Africa’. By opening up conversation, you’ll soon hear a ‘real Africa’ story with all the tragedy and resilience, even appeals for help, which are invariably involved. So for those in search of ‘the real Africa’, it can be quite simple, you really don’t have to go very far or feel like you are missing out. Just open your ears.



Kibera Today

To read more about this Africa Expat Wife's recent Kibera trip, click here:
http://www.home.co.ke/index.php/african-expat/116-columns/700-hope-lives-in-kibera

The tragic story of a British honeymoon couple who decided to venture out of Cape Town, SA, in search of the 'real Africa'.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/southafrica/8135834/South-Africa-murder-husband-pleaded-with-carjackers.html

Ruto to The Hague...

So Ruto toddled off to the Hague last night, and all of his own accord...  Apparently he'd like the chance to clear his name, or at least defend himself in the face of incriminating evidence, before being issued with an official ICC summons.  Just yesterday we learned that, in view of the fact that Kenya has been so helpful with ICC investigations, Ocampo has decided against the arrest warrant route, prefering to issue a 'summons' or two, to avoid the possible embarrassment of key politicians and businessmen who he plans to 'interview' later. 

We learned from today's papers that Ruto offered to go and visit the Hague three months ago but Ocampo has kept him waiting, we assume so that he can do a little more investigating into exactly who was responsible for organising 2008 post election violence, first.

When Ruto was suspended from Government, Florence who works in our house said,
'Is this fair? I feel a bit sorry for him.  It's all because of something that happened a long time ago.'

Caroline Mutoko of Kiss FM said that many Kenyans had expressed worry that Ruto 'looked a bit sad'  when leaving the cabinet- but she said, since voting in this new constitution, people should have the courage of their convictions and let the process of rooting out corruption take its course.  Events since have overtaken us, with many key politicianls stepping aside pending corruption cases - so we are getting used to the 'sad' look now.  Off to the Hague is something new that we'll need to get used to too!

I wonder if Ruto will ever be coming back?  Probably.  His return flight is booked for Saturday.


Interesting article on problems with Dfid aid distribution in Ethiopia.  Since the UK Development Aid budget has been increased by 37% to 11 billion by 2013 - the UK Coalition Government are even more under seige by UK taxpayers who feel cutting spending at home while splurging overseas (when, in many cases, it's not doing much good anyway) is unfair:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/ethiopia/8078743/British-aid-failing-to-get-through-to-those-most-in-need.html

News to Amuse

I have a funny joke. In fact I actually have quite a few! And they are all taken from the last couple of weeks Kenyan news. It all started with the voting in of the new constitution in August; now Kenya politics has started to get very amusing.


• Today there’s the story about the water minister who is accused of tribalism, apparently having spent the country’s almost entire development budget in the tiny region of Kenya that she came from (OK, it's dry there in Ukambani, but still...).

• Then there was the one about the managing director of the Kenya Bureau of Standards and the chairman of the National Standards Council, who have both been interviewed regarding the illegal importation of 3,000 vehicles that are more than 8 years old.

• There’s the joke about the cemetery land, where SHs 283 million was (over)paid by the government for land that is deemed to be useless for graves. First the Nairobi mayor was arrested – then he and his assistant quit their posts.

• Oh, and there’s another one about the foreign affairs minister who was accused of financial improprieties in the sale and purchase of 5 embassy buildings abroad. Wetangula and his assistant have now stepped aside too pending KACC investigations.

• Next on the block are reportedly going to be those ministers who have misappropriated funds meant for the resettlement of Internally Displaced Persons (displaced from their homes as a result of the 2007 election). Can’t wait for that one!

• As I said in a previous post, William Ruto was suspended two weeks ago regarding a 2004 illegal sale of Kenya forest land. He’s not idle though, instead he’s apparently already formed a new political party to be unveiled at Christmas. 40 ministers are already on board. Good luck to him on that one.

• I can go on; There’s the tatty desk in Embakasi Constituency that was apparently bought for a school for 30,000 shillings (£250). A recent Nairobi Social Audit report reveals that CDF funds, or Constituency Development Funds all over Nairobi have been ‘redirected’ or failed to deliver. Shs53.6 million has gone or been unaccounted over the past 2 years. Many development projects, once started now stand incomplete or stalled.

• The very latest joke/scandal concerns a fraudulent iron ore exploration/mining deal granted after forged papers were submitted. (even I am getting bogged down now!).

Kenya Anti-Corruption Commission chairman Dr Patrick Lumumba, who is driving most of these investigations, is now my new hero. He is also reopening old cases such as Goldenberg and Anglo Leasing. I hope he doesn’t have a price on his head at the moment.  He's actually asking guilty ministers who have squirrelled their ill gotten gains into foreign bank accounts, to return up to one third in order to get amnesty in their pending graft cases.

'Fighting corruption is a task that should be done, will be done and must be done.  If not done, then we are done.'  Don't you just love him already?

‘We are currently investigating no less than four cabinet ministers and no less than 45 heads of parastatals.’ He said.

With so many ministers being suspended due to being under investigation at the moment, there’s a chance that Kenya’s coalition cabinet might end up a reasonable size!  In fact, with the new constitution disallowing anyone implicated in corruption from being a member of Parliament, who will be left to run in the 2012 election?

All this and Ocampo is due in town before Christmas to arrest four to six personalities accused of masterminding post-election violence that took place in early 2008. What a shocker.

For an interesting overview of how Kenya (from Western eyes) stands today economically and strategically, click on the link; http://www.economist.com/node/17373983  and read Friday’s UK Economist article entitled 'Can Kenya make its new deal work?'.  The piece is pretty positive all in all ..which makes a change.