01 02 03 Africa Expat Wives Club: Small children in the office 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

Small children in the office

My little office/box room is unfortunately centrally situated upstairs in our house, off the landing. It’s the perfect drop in zone for our three children when I’m hiding in there trying to play about with my computer. I think it’s a conspiracy and the Easter holidays have been the worst.

My little office has been the scene of many a childish show down; ‘I’m bored Mummy!’ ‘Why are you always on your computer Mummy?’ ‘My sister’s being mean to me Mummy’ ‘what can we do now, where can we go?’…. Another appears with a scratched knee or bruise needing cream and a plaster (every time) and the one year old comes in at three minute intervals with a little board book for me to read. When I give in and put her on my knee her tiny fingers stray to the keyboard. Her particular ‘piece de la resistance’ has been to flick off the main power supply at the wall on exiting my cramped room. I type on oblivious whilst the battery struggles on for a few minutes, then the screen blanks out.

I often wonder how ‘wife in the north’ does it with her blogging in UK, with no wonderful ayahs?!

When people entertaining the idea that having children is the way forward to complete your otherwise perfect life, there should be a helpful government health warning leaflet that reads;
· ‘you will never be able to go to the loo on your own again’
· ‘you will never be able to browse at the shops, in fact any shopping trip will be punctuated by an embarrassment inducing tantrum’
· ‘if you embark on doing something crafty or creative with your children, it will always end in tears’
· ‘it will be many years before you can ever go to a restaurant again’
· ‘it will be many years before you can ever have a lie in again’
· ‘your parents won’t always be willing to baby sit as they are loving their own freedom now’
· ‘bringing up small children can be mind numbingly boring’, which is why most mothers opt to go back to work these days (or start writing a blog?).

Forget romantic ideas of becoming a yummy mummy, these high profile ladies are spinning a web of lies because they have legions of staff in the background taking the children off their hands following every photo shoot.

The best advice I have for any potential parent is; move to Africa! With plenty of help around the house, it gives you best chance of maintaining a semblance of life pre children.

p.s. it’s Sunday and I’m feeling virtuous having just done my once a week stint at washing up…

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